by Johnny Neiman

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released January 8, 2016

All songs written by Johnny Neiman.

Johnny Neiman: Vocals, acoustic, twelve string, bass
Nicholas Null: Electric six string, bass, vocals
David Luecke: Bass, vocals
Sandra Simpson: Piano/keyboard
Derek Warfle: Drums/Percussion
Aaron Perez: Drums/Percussion

Guest vocals:
Chelsey Keller
Joe Thompson
Charlie 6er
Matt Reymann

Recorded from January to December 2015 by Nicholas C. Null.
Mixed and mastered by Nicholas C. Null.
Album photograph by Dennis McFarland.
Album design by Nicholas C. Null.



all rights reserved


Johnny Neiman Canton, Ohio

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Track Name: Look Up!
Look Up!
January 28, 2014

History and culture, all rigged by the crooks
The methods employed, oldest trick in the book
Dividing to conquer the grunts on the field
Deception and wrath, they weapons they yield
Chronic warfare declared by president
A jailhouse a-waitin’ for those who dissent
Into his pocket flows riches and gold
The guillotine rises when the war comes back home

Look up, look up! What do you see?
The bastards, killers, tyrants, and thieves
Look left, look left, and side to side
Dichotomies shatter when you look into their eyes

Stomping on the grounds where the crosses once burned
Your granddaddy’s bed sheet, a lesson not learned
Reading old novels that he left behind
Sheep-like compliance, you turned your eye blind
Accepting the hollow myths that you were once taught
Not one single question, not one second thought
The power of privilege, the trigger to shoot
The bodies are flailing, cold under your boot

Look up, look up! What do you see?
The bastards, killers, tyrants, and thieves
Look left, look left, and side to side
Brothers, sisters, comrades unite!

The masters now use tactics of scrutiny
In fear of resistance, of mutiny
The have-nots all gather, chant protest through song
The Proletariat’s Revolution!
Track Name: Thirteen Seconds
Thirteen Seconds

Thirteen seconds and you're fucking dead.
Kent State.
Wall Street.
Civil Fucking War.
Track Name: Just Standing
Just Standing

That fucking Latino always walks on my lawn
Goodbye, farewell, auf wiedersehen, so long
His hoodie was black, his skin was suspicious
Step in my suburb, bitch I had to get vicious

Excuse me sheriff, I’m just standing my ground
Neighborhood watch, you should be glad I’m around
Your hands stay clean, and the work gets done
Securing these streets for your prep school son
They say I’m a killer, but I’m not the only one

Watching the game from my living room couch
The woman waltzed in, told her “Get the fuck out!”
She got real flip, slapped me right in the ear
So I hacked her ass up, had an ice cold beer

Gangster rap blaring as I’m paying my gas
Pumped a fucking lead salad in his dumb, black ass
Security footage, but they’ll never indict
In the land of the free, I’m damn proud to be white

Because I’m not breaking the law
I’m just doing my job
As a God fearin’ American
With a shit eating grin
And a gun in my hand
Track Name: Durden's First Rule
Durden’s First Rule
February 27, 2014

I’ve got a friend, comes around at night
Splicing reels in my mind
Destroying all I’ve ever loved
Manic bastard, can’t get enough
Losing sight, reality
Cognitive dichotomy
One entity, depraved and mad
Oblivion, it’s all we have

Nihilistic, masochistic
Sly, demonic, sick and twisted
Gloriously, ghastly grim
He’s now me, and I am him
Destroy yourself to rise again
Creation is to comprehend
Accept your fate, fear not your death
Fight until there’s nothing left

Toxic napalm through my veins
Cut it up, expel the flames
Self-regard eradication
Necessitating liberation
Desperate, reckless, no control
I am jack’s decaying soul
You call it insanity
Fuck you, its humanity

Nihilistic, masochistic
Rational and realistic
Counting down to extinction
Fueled by instinct, addiction
Design your life, reject their plan
Living is to understand
Accept your fate, embrace your death
Scream until my final breath

Broken and bled, with a gun to my head
Everything she said, now I’m better off dead
Waiting to burn, no concern
Back to the urn, as your stomach churns
Look into my eyes, no compromise
Do you realize that the end is nigh?
Finger on the trigger, and he’s ready to blow
Five, four, three, two, one – Let’s fucking go
Track Name: A Clockwork Black
A Clockwork Black
April 23rd 2012

Crush the order, a clockwork black
Smash the borders, no looking back
Abandon revenants, one bag packed
Wait near these goddamn rusty tracks

Let’s sit in a dark room, engage in conversation
Walk this whole damn city without a destination
Take the highway exit, down to the next state line
In between the thoughts and dreams, ignore the fading signs

The needs in life ain’t free, some cheap
Pencil, journal, love, and sleep
A prayer, a plea, autonomy
Now is this where you wish to be?

Let’s sit in a dark room, fuck and watch Pulp Fiction
Walk this whole damn city without a destination
Take the highway exit, down to the next state line
In between the thoughts and dreams, ignore the fading signs

So tell me something I don’t know
Anything, let’s fucking go
Stay awake to slow the time
Break the chain of blurring lines
Separate the ghosts and demons
Like splitting atoms, you’d best believe it
A chronic process, journey long
The fundamentals for this motherfuckin’ song
Track Name: No Remorse
No Remorse

Do you remember me, or have you since forgotten?
Like brothers in our youth, now hollow, cold, and rotten
Take a look, a look inside, it's not quite so romantic
Bloody scraps of desperation you once took for granted

You'll try to analyze
The grief behind these eyes
But you can't empathize
And you may be surprised
My life's been compromised
This bastard world of lies
It's led to my demise
Now I must say goodbye

These words finally have meaning, that I'm no longer around
Been screaming all these years, nobody heard a sound
Now you're faking tears for strangers like we were dearest friends
My name will scar your tongue, you'll never speak again

The last sight in my eye was my mother's smiling face
The final thought in mind was how I hate this fucking place
These people make me sick, one million times I thought it through
Locked the door and acted quick, I knew just what to do
Can you smell the blood dissolved into the crusted lead?
Ain't nothing but these dirty bones piled upon this bed
The body, mind, and soul now severed and divorced
An honest life now spent, resigned with no remorse

And I'll be gone
By the end of this song
Track Name: 641
September 2, 2014

And my prick of a brother
Has a bounty on my head
I had a case worker and literary agent
But they're both fucking dead
Only one thing that concerns me
Under this wretched shitty sun
The goldfish in my apartment complex
Number 641
Headed down south to oblivion
In this hijacked commercial plane
The final engine has burned away
You'll never see me again
Maybe I'll find comfort
In the realm of the unknown
If anybody's listening to this tape
It means my life is over and done
Track Name: The Rottenest Fuckin' Apple in the Rottenest Fuckin' Barrel
The Rottenest Fuckin’ Apple in the Rottenest Fuckin’ Barrel
November 19th, 2013

Oh captain, my captain of the social norm
I can see your dick pulsing through that uniform
Cool new badge, bitchin' shades
Billy club swingin', gonna get you laid
Identity masked, savage and numb
Can't see your eyes, but you're scared and dumb
I'm locked in a cage, blinded by a black hood
Goddamn motherfucker, you must feel so good

Hey old friend, what's your name?
I can't really tell cause you're all the same
Has something gone wrong inside your brain?
Men turn to monsters, and who's to blame?

A kick to the ribs, a crack to the jaw
Call 'em by number, this is how you get off
But that's not enough, as you admit
Strip 'em naked, gonna make 'em eat shit
Demand sodomy from these pricks for fun
They can't say no when they're staring down your gun
Take crude photographs, post 'em online
The prison warden said that it ain't a fuckin’ crime

Hey old friend, what's your name?
Have you really subscribed to this bullshit game?
These thoughts and ideals are so insane
Respect now rotting to scorn and disdain

You find a red, I'll grab a black
Crush in their skulls with a baseball bat
Hey all you inmates, you better grab a mop
Two men in the shower, and they're really fucked up
Gather the guys from around the cell block
Another motherfucker getting shocked in his cock
Keep your mouth shut, don't give me no lip
Won't think twice before I empty this clip
Track Name: Our Greatest Day
Our Greatest Day

I try so hard to be an honest man
This anger and aggression wasn't part of the plan
So much hatred locked away in my heart
I'd give anything for a brand new start
But I'm so lost and lonely, and don't know where I've been
Is there any good left inside me? Rotting from these sins
Oh, dead man walking, my time is borrowed
Curse and rejoice the fact that I'll be here tomorrow

What a shame, this is our greatest day
All this time we've worked so hard
Just to fade away
So insane, my heart fills with dismay
I once heard in a punk song that nothing gold can stay

I'll never admit, but I've got such plaguing fears
If only you knew, you'd run far away from here
I'd love to listen, don't speak too much
Through the distortion, this mind is grossly out of touch
But I'm the strongest man I've ever been in my whole life
The zenith of existence until the next sunrise
Somewhere in the distance, there will come a time
I’ll fade into a drifting dream, never to open my eyes

What a shame, that on our greatest day
We'll exhale our final breath, wither and decay
Everything's changed, as kids we used to play
One last time I'll hold your hand, stagnant as the clay

A gentle soul, a wounded smile
Won't you sit down and stay a while?
I loved you so, wish you'd have known
The epitaph on the tombstone
It read, "beloved brother, inspired son"
A life extinguished before the course has been run
I've got these photographs to preserve your memory
And for a fleeting moment, I believe you're here with me
Track Name: Warboner
April 15, 2014

A new butch and a uniform
They sent me off with a gun
I bid farewell to my mom and dad
They waved goodbye to their son
Boarded a jet with artillery
Down to Middle Eastern soil
Democracy and liberty
Stands for infrastructure and oil

War Boner, prepare to be fucked by the
War Boner, you’re just shit out of luck
War Boner, you’d better run for your lives
Cause we’re not leaving here ‘til none of you fuckers survive

Receiving ordered commands
That I just can’t compute
A programmed killing machine
Conditioned to blindly shoot
Wearing this medal of gold
For the village of ruin and debris
While civilians are rotting in prison cells
For peaceful assembly

War Boner, the earth’s now a global warzone
War Boner, no longer safe in your own home
War Boner, you’d better run for your lives
Cause we’re not leaving here ‘til none of you fuckers survive

From East Timor to Israel
We deal our M-16s
Eradicate the dissidents
Who challenge our regimes
Catalysts and puppets
For good ol’ Uncle Sam
From the death squads to the contras
Your tax-funded Taliban
Track Name: Holier Trinity (Ménage a Trois)
Holier Trinity (Menage a Trois)
January 18, 2014

There's a statue of Reagan in the middle of heaven
And a burnin' pit of fire if you don't accept him
Now his wrath trickles down to the depths of the earth
Mother Mary was raped, now she's giving birth
To the bastard sons and the desperate girls
A brand new doctrine for the Western World
Singing theopolitical holiday songs
Bringing joy to the world through the atom bomb

Jesus fucking Christ fucking Ayn Rand
Lily white skin from a Middle Eastern land
One night in Israel, broadcast Ménage à trois
Pinochet joins in on the coup d'etat

Now your G-O-D is the G-O-P
Thumping old words for the Tea Party
We've got sodomy up to blasphemy
A war against whatever the fuck you want it to be
Judgment measured by sex, class, and skin
Bullets and tsunamis absolve them of their sins
And you just can't lose with the word on your side
His blessing was granted for the apartheid

Jesus fucking Christ fucking Ayn Rand
Stimulation from the invisible hand
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are all fucking dead
Hail to the reign of the Fountainhead

Have you heard the good word of Christ our Lord?
Armed to the teeth, gonna kick in your door
Better pray on your knees to the father and son
Depleted uranium through the tip of his fucking gun
Track Name: Bone

Singing on stage about love and romance
With an eye on your chest, and a hand down your pants
Wish I had the courage to ask you to dance
But baby, I don't know if I'll ever have that chance
Won't you come home with me tonight?
We could watch Full House and turn out the light
Look me in the eyes, and hold me oh so tight
Embrace my insecurities, and tell me it's alright

Let's bone, let's bone, til my mom gets home
Got a thirty pack of Natty, I don't wanna drink alone
Let's bone, let's bone, til my mom gets home
She's away on business, so we'll go all night long

I know you'll regret this in the morning
But darling, I'm too fucking horny
We could do this again next weekend
Don't say no, I just can't take rejection
I've got the shakes cause I'm so nervous
I love when you provide that service
I think you know my point of reference
Jerk me off then let's go get some motherfuckin’ breakfast

Let's bone, let's bone til my mom gets home
We could listen to Ted Nugent in my basement and get stoned
Let's bone, let's bone til my mom gets home
She's on her way back, so you better hit the road

Won't you say something validating?
My ego is so fragile and sad
Please don't call me a pity fuck
You're the best I've ever had
Don't go breaking this old heart of mine
That would be such a tragedy
Maybe I’ll write a song, or two or three or nine
About you on my next acoustic CD
Track Name: Enigmatic
May 18th, 2013

I’d love to speak your native tongue
So I can understand
Breathe deep into your lungs
Like my life does depend
On two hearts dead in sync
Telepathy connects
Like two lost, missing links
Weary eyes lock to your neck

Hello again my friend, so enigmatic
And I can’t comprehend what’s lost in static
This unbalanced chemistry, not based in science
Could my hypothesis break this cruel silence?

Steal the ink from your memoirs
Tattoo it to my skin
What’s yours and mine is ours
Oh, where do I begin?
Find the page where you’ve been hiding
From the chapter that you fear
Stand by me to confide in
Until the tempest disappears

Hello again my friend, so enigmatic
Compelled by mystery, just automatic
This unbalanced chemistry, not based in science
When there’s no formula for this alliance

Oh no, my dear
Hell no, my dear
You ain’t the only one in here
With tricks up every sleeve
Goddamn, you’d best believe
I’m a bit of a joker myself

Oh no, I know
You’ll never know
Just how far this charade could go
Although I’d never say
As we pass our separate ways
Welcome to the motherfuckin’ show
Track Name: Silver Lining Stab in the Back
Silver Lining Stab In The Back
March 17, 2015

I got drunk on New Year's Eve
And didn't see the ball drop
I passed out on Mackenzie's couch
It was 2015 when I woke up
Three days later while watching Tusk
I jotted down my resolution
It turned out as a suicide note
By 24, I'd be gone

Every punk rocker's got a song or two
About how they wished they had died young
Here's my confession, I'm no exception
Just listen to one of my songs
It's not that I feel invalidated
Or insignificant
I just acknowledge that the universe
Is a monumental piece of shit

Silver lining, silver lining
Stab in the back
You’ll find no remorse
In a heart that's painted black
Silver lining, silver lining
Spit in the face
A quarter century gone
She knew it's time to walk away

Cultured Coffee on a Monday night
Great friends and poetry
I came home and my dad was gone
My mother in misery
I knew just then when I looked in her eyes
That she couldn't take any more pain
All those plans that I devised
Went to hell straight through the drain

Some people have Jesus Christ
So they can sleep at night
Some people have a psychiatrist
And anxiety medication
Some people have a pack of Marlboros
To fight the stress and the shakes
We've all got a battle to call our own
And you can make no mistake
That I'll be here for you
Cause I know you're here for me too
So long as we've got each other
You know we'll make it through
I still think about suicide
Three hundred times a day
But my hope will never die
That it might just fade away
Here's my promise that I
Will never leave you behind
I know I've said it before,
But I truly mean it this time
It's a crooked, broken, fucked up place
Just take a look outside
I've stared the devil in his face
Now I can say that I
Am happy to be alive